


just give me try

by miniaturetigers



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, Unrequited Love, and he's trying not to cry and die right there, and josh says he's fine, bc he doesn't want to hurt his fren, i don't know what to tag, josh at tyler and jenna's wedding, tyler asks josh what's wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 09:04:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6232624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miniaturetigers/pseuds/miniaturetigers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>josh knew that tyler didn't mean the kind of 'i love you' that lovers tell each other when they stare into each other's eyes for what seems like eternity. josh knew that tyler didn't mean the kind of 'i love you' that lovers whisper and gasp and moan out in their bed or a shared motel room, and josh knew that tyler didn't mean it in the way he told jenna. and for once, josh was okay with that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	just give me try

**Author's Note:**

> i'm a sad little nymphet. i wrote this with blue/grey haired josh in mind because oh how i loved that colour in his hair. enjoy my sucky writing.

   josh was trying his best not to cry as he helped tyler with his suit, straightening out the shoulders, fixing the bow-tie, and making sure his best friend looked his very best before the first dance with his newly wed partner (not that he didn't already). 

 

   of course the blue haired man was happy for his friend, but the pain was just too much. josh loved tyler with every bloody vein in his body, josh loved tyler so much that it filled the emptiness that had formed in the pit of his stomach for quite some time. every time josh hung out with tyler it was like he was in the presence of a god.

 

   to josh, tyler was like a saviour of sorts. when josh was completely lost in his worst of times, sleeping with strangers, staying at bars and getting as drunk as he possibly could before they kicked him out, crying at the most inappropriate of times because the damned memories haunted him with no mercy, tyler had been there. his lovely, honey brown eyed friend with the prettiest smile and the fluffiest hair, his very own baby boy, had been there for josh. tyler always picked up the phone at 3 am when nothing was right and josh was convinced that it was the end of his life, that everyone hated him, that something very bad was going to happen (josh couldn't explain what but he knew it was bad), tyler picked up the phone every single time at the third ring.  he would coo sweet words into josh's cold ears and tell him that everything was going to be okay.

 

   to josh, tyler was like the whole section of abstract paintings at the art galleries. made up of brilliant things, some extremely simple or lacking colours, and others with the most beautiful of details that not even words could explain. everybody understood the beauty of the masterpiece in their very own way, finding just what they need in the painting to have their jaw drop in awe at the beauty of it all, and to josh, every single painting inside of tyler held a certain twinkle, a certain glimmer to it. kind of like the way that seashells wash up on the sand and glimmer and shimmer when the sun shines upon them, but tyler didn't need the sun to shine so he could reflect his true beauty, tyler  _was_ the sun.

 

   tyler was the star that shone so bright and guided everyone to better things. tyler was the star that woke everybody up to a beautiful morning and said goodbye in the wonderful colours of a sunset, fiery reds that were as bright as cherries and scorching flames, and oranges, and pinks that looked like cotton candy, and cool, grape-flavoured-popsicle-purple. 

 

 

   tyler's eyes could set the whole sky on fire with just a little glimpse, but he decided to look at josh and set him on fire instead. and josh was okay with it, he really truly was. josh didn't mind having to hold himself back from tasting tyler's plump, pretty, pink lips. in fact, josh had the slightest of hope that tyler felt the same way towards him, how else could josh explain the way tyler stared at josh in the interviews or constantly complimented him? 

 

   but soon enough josh realized that that was not the case, he realized that tyler is just the cuddly type of friend that is overprotective and sings to you when you can't sleep and wipes away your tears when you're a shaking, nervous wreck and holds your hand when no one is looking, and josh realized that tyler was just the kind of friend that everyone ends up falling a little bit for. 

 

   and as much as it shattered poor josh's heart, he realized that tyler would never ever  _ever_ love him the way he loves tyler.

 

   so josh took the love he had for tyler and hid it in the deepest parts of his soul, where no sun shined and where it was cold and dark and easy to get lost in, resulting in the action of falling down into a spiral of horrible flashbacks and haunting memories and screams of pain. he tried his best to forget the feelings, he tried his best to forget the small flame of hope that burned in his heart in that tyler would love him back, and he tried his best not to cry whenever this theory was shattered completely. and it completely destroyed josh, it tore him up and gave him panic attacks and there were moments full of pity and despair and sadness that ate him alive like a vicious lion.

 

   but it was much harder than josh had hoped. it was hard not to fall even more in love with tyler's cute little giggles, stupid little beanies, stupid little dance moves, stupid little jokes, the stupid speeches he gave that filled everybody's hearts with hope to live on, and his stupid hands that were just so... pretty. it made a knot form in josh's throat. it burned like hell fire. it slowly crushed his bones and ripped his skin.

 

   now that tyler would officially marry jenna, josh nearly lost his goddamn mind. it's not that josh was jealous or scared that tyler would no longer pay attention to him, but the pain was almost unbearable, knowing that the love of his life now belonged to someone else. the little sparkle of hope, if there was any left to begin with, had completely vanished from his heart, leaving him with only a cold, black hole in his chest.

 

   "i'm so nervous, bro." tyler mumbled out in a shaky voice, slowly turning to face josh. "what if i step on jenna's dress while we're dancing? or what if i-"

 

   "dude. shut up." josh interrupted with a light giggle. despite the pain inside he could always break out a laugh or two. "everything is going to go swell, i know it. you already made it through the mass, what can go wrong?" he sighed. "nothing. trust me." added josh before tyler even had a chance to think about the millions of things that could be messed up. 

 

   "i love you, josh." 

 

   the words stung all over the thicker man's body like a thousand angry bees.

 

   "i love you too, ty-dye." 

 

   everything after that seemed to be a blur.

 

 

 

|-/

 

 

 

   music played loudly around the large room, and josh shook his head as if to rid himself of vicious thoughts. a bottle of beer was in one of his hands and josh wondered when tyler and jenna had their first dance and when in the hell did he get a hold of a beer so quickly, but before he could, his favourite brunet was tapping at his shoulder with a sly grin.

 

   "yo, dude, we should totally go slow dance." giggled tyler. "jenna is dancing with debby at the moment, and patrick is dancing with pete, and brendon with dallon and i have no one else to dance with besides my favourite fren!" tyler continued to plead. josh knew it was only a joke, josh knew that tyler didn't really mean for any real emotion to go on as they swayed to the soft, slow music, and josh knew that this may be his only chance to dance in such a sweet way with tyler. 

 

   the minute tyler saw the soft smile curl up on josh's lips he grabbed his hand and dragged him to one of the corners of the dance floor, already knowing that josh would say yes. 

 

   josh was having trouble trying to put together what was going on at the moment, but before he could, tyler's hands were around his waist and his own were wrapped around tyler's neck. they began to sway softly to the music and in that moment, where the soft lights made tyler's eyes look like dazzling jewels and his skin seemed to emit a soft glow, josh decided that if a genie ever showed up to grant him a single wish, it would be to live in that moment for the rest of his life. 

 

   "you're the best, joshy boy." tyler cooed softly near josh's ear, his lips tickling the tender skin of josh's neck. 

 

   "i love you, tyler." was the only thing that josh managed to choke out, once again. tyler was okay with that. 

 

   his lovely little brunet giggled and softly twirled the other man around, hugging his waist even tighter afterwards. josh gave in to the gooey feeling that covered his veins like molasses and let his head rest in the crook between tyler's head and his shoulder. josh felt as though the heavens had finally heard his prayers and decided to gift him with such joy, such happiness, for the short length that the song lasted, and oh was he thankful.

 

   "i love you, tyler." josh whispered over and over like some sort of religious mantra. tyler was okay with that.

 

   "i love you, tyler." josh whispered as though it was the only word he knew. tyler was okay with that.

 

   "i love you, tyler." josh whispered as though his life depended on the 4 words. tyler was okay with that.

 

   "i love you too, josh." tyler replied, placing the softest of kisses on josh's neck.

 

   and josh knew that tyler didn't mean it in the same way.

   josh knew that tyler didn't mean the kind of 'i love you' that lovers tell each other when they stare into each other's eyes for what seems like eternity. josh knew that tyler didn't mean the kind of 'i love you' that lovers whisper and gasp and moan out in their bed or a shared motel room, and josh knew that tyler didn't mean it in the way he told jenna. and for once, josh was okay with that.


End file.
